sorry sir, if your name isnt down...
psst, have you heard? we've got some pretty damn exciting news! We've done a spot of research and it turns out that people that give to teamellis are more generous, intelligent, witty and beautiful when compared to EVERYONE else. Furthermore, it gets better - initial findings reveal that, post donation, their jokes got funnier, their trains were less likely to be delayed, their toast always landed butter side up and they had much better sex. Gran must be having a blinding time.
However, unfortunately it looks like some slebs have caught wind of the new teamellis wonderdrug, and are desperate to get access to this special VIP group. You may have spotted lurking at the velvet rope of despair, (but definitely NOT on a school night 'arry) trying desperately to catch the eye of our burly doorman and fending off the interest of screechy nicki from big brother. Fortunately, for your safety, we've managed to catch the worst offenders and post their mugshots on our flikr site. If you do see them, do not approach them, slowly walk away and when in a safe place, contact the appropriate authorities. They are not thought to be dangerous (except if you are female and you encounter callum best) but they will not stop at anything to steal your membership. Sadly they don't understand that you've either got it or you havent... Regularly check our site to keep updated with new faces to look out for
Finally, a huge thank you to all the new members of team ellis club. We are in seventh heaven (see what I am doing there?) that we've hit seven thousand pounds in this, our seventh week. It truly is a staggering amount of money and will make a huge contribution to the ongoing work of CLIC Sargent. We are all genuinely humbled by the generosity of each and every one of you towards this fantastic cause and cant wait to do you all proud on the day. Have a great weekend!
listen here barlow, what did i say? you may have well walked up kilimanjaro but are you on the team ellis list? quit your bleating and get back to the end of the line...and take van outen with you. sheesh, they'll try anything....
no celebrities were harmed in the making of this blog